


The Future Talk

by gogglor



Series: The Buzzfeed Listiverse [3]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Communication, Established Relationship, Fluff, Grown-Ups Talking About Grown-Up Stuff, M/M, Plans For The Future
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-14
Updated: 2021-01-14
Packaged: 2021-03-18 12:41:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,199
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28743426
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gogglor/pseuds/gogglor
Summary: Tony and Steve have been dating for a little while, and they talk about their future and whether they can make it work in the long term.Standalone fic.
Relationships: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Series: The Buzzfeed Listiverse [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2081472
Comments: 12
Kudos: 93





	The Future Talk

**Author's Note:**

> I was not planning on making a part 3, but I had this conversation in my head and I had to write it out. Takes place immediately after part 2.
> 
> If you're new here, I wrote this to be standalone. You don't need to read anything else, and there are no major spoilers here of the other two fics.

“It’s too early to overthink, go back to sleep,” mumbled Tony into his pillow case.

Steve rolled his eyes and continued stroking Tony’s shoulder.

“Who says I’m overthinking?”

“If you weren’t overthinking you’d be going back to sleep, starting your day, or making a move. You’re doing none of those things, which means you’re overthinking.”

Steve frowned and said, “Am I ever going to be able to hide anything from you?”

“Nope!” said Tony as he turned over to face Steve head on, “Jarvis, raise the blinds a bit, I want to see my blushing boyfriend’s face.”

Jarvis raised the blinds enough to let in some of the early morning light, and Steve blushed. Tony could really play him like a fiddle.

“Ok, sugarpuff, do you want to talk about whatever’s bothering you _now_ , or do you want to wait until I’m caffeinated?” asked Tony with a yawn.

Steve opened his mouth to protest, then closed it, knowing it was useless.

“Better wait till you’re caffeinated,” said Steve.

Tony raised his eyebrows and said, “That serious, huh?”

Steve could’ve lied, but instead he said, “Yeah, that serious.”

There was a pause, then Tony said, “Jarvis, start the coffee pot.”

“Which one?” said Jarvis.

“The one in the bedroom, obviously,” said Tony.

“You and Captain Rogers removed that coffee pot last week, sir,” said Jarvis.

Tony groaned and buried his face in the pillow.

Steve stroked Tony’s hair and gently said, “It’s to make sure you--”

“--spend more time with other people, yeah, I remember. How do you talk me into these things?” said Tony.

“You’re very suggestible after we’ve… you know,” said Steve with a sheepish grin.

“You are a _menace_. A sexy, sexy menace,” said Tony as he sat up and rubbed his face.

“Jarvis, start the coffee in the kitchen,” said Steve.

“Nope, too far. I will come up with at least a million scenarios to panic about in the walk from here to the kitchen. I’ve got a quarter million already. I need to know what you’re worried about.”

“But--”

“Make that half a million,” said Tony.

Steve pressed his lips together and sighed.

“I’ve been thinking about what Bruce said, about his relationship with Betty,” said Steve.

Tony blinked in that way that meant he’d received data that he hadn’t anticipated. It was rare to see it at all, and especially rare to see it directed at Steve, since Tony knew Steve better than he did half the time.

“Go on,” said Tony.

Steve laid back on the pillows and looked up at the ceiling.

“It sounded like they really loved each other. And they still didn’t make it,” said Steve.

“Yeah, it happens like that sometimes, Steve,” said Tony propping himself up on his elbow, “You love each other to the moon and back, but you want different things.”

“Did it ever happen to you like that?” said Steve.

“Once,” said Tony with a sad look in his eyes.

“What happened?” asked Steve.

“I wanted to be a superhero. She wanted to live a life not worrying if her significant other was going to be eaten by an alien or cut in half by a laser beam,” said Tony.

Steve started and said, “Pepper?”

“Pepper,” Tony confirmed.

“Do you still love her?” asked Steve, trying hard to keep the hurt out of his voice.

“Do you still love Peggy?” asked Tony.

“That’s different.”

“It’s not. Your lives were destined to be on two different tracks; meeting for a while, but eventually going separate ways. That’s me and Pepper too. And yeah, a small part of me’s always going to love her, just like a small part of you’s always going to love Peggy. But you’ve got my heart now, Steve. Don’t ever doubt that,” said Tony.

Steve felt some of the tension leave his gut. Then he said, “It’s just… hard for me to wrap my mind around, you know? Voluntarily not being with someone you love.”

 _Not being with you_ floated unspoken between them.

“People break up for lots of reasons, Steve. Sometimes it’s falling out of love or cheating or realizing you’re not good for each other. But sometimes it’s because the lives you want don’t match up. You could have all the love in the world but if one of you desperately wants to have kids and the other one desperately doesn’t, the relationship’s not going to work.”

“Do you want to have kids?” asked Steve.

Tony froze.

“No, we’re not having this conversation right now,” said Tony as he got out of bed.

“Tony--”

“ _No_ , Steve,” said Tony curtly as he pulled his pants on and left the bedroom.

Three hours later, after Steve had run out some of his anxious energy and showered, he walked into the lab with a cup of coffee.

“Is that from La Colombe?” said Tony without turning around from where he was wiring something delicate on the workbench.

Steve chuckled a bit. Tony _would_ know coffee by smell.

“Dark roast and black as midnight,” said Steve.

Tony tipped up the magnifying goggles he was wearing and turned around.

“Thanks babe,” said Tony as he kissed Steve on the cheek and took the coffee.

Steve sat down next to him and let Tony shotgun the coffee in silence.

“So, now that you’re caffeinated--” started Steve.

“Stop,” said Tony.

Steve turned toward Tony and saw what looked like fight or flight on his face. But then it was replaced with something like resignation.

“God, it’s so easy to forget you’re so young,” said Tony as he set down the empty cup.

“What does that mean?”

“Steve, I know I’m your first real relationship, so let me tell you how these things usually work. You meet someone you like, and you start dating. If you’re still together after a while -- how long depends on how old you both are -- and you can imagine having a future together, then at some point, either over a couple of conversations or all at once, you have the future talk.”

“The future talk?” said Steve.

“Yep. It is what it says it is. You talk about your careers and your values and how many kids you want, where you want to live, and generally what you want to _do_ with the rest of your lives, and you see if you match. But here’s the problem, Steve - once you have the future talk, you can’t un-have it. If you find out that one of you wants to settle down in podunk Oklahoma and never leave, and the other one wants to join the circus and move from city to city once a week, then from that point on you know you’re dating on borrowed time. And you can keep the relationship going for a while if you want, but you know that it can only be for fun, not for keeps. That eventually, you’re going to have to break up.”

“You’re worried we won’t match,” said Steve.

Tony looked at the floor and fiddled with the empty coffee cup. “I know your frame of reference is a bit skewed, but I live kind of an unusual life, Steve. And I want to do unusual things with the rest of it. My likelihood of finding forever with _anyone_ is low. Really low.”

“I take low odds all the time,” said Steve.

Tony smiled and shook his head. “I know, Steve. And one day, if you don’t wise up to the fact that you’re dating an emotionally constipated crackpot with a list of issues as long as--”

“ _Tony_ ”

“If you don’t get sick of me then one day, we’re going to have the future talk. But right now, I want to stay where we are. The sword of Damocles might be dangling over my head but I don’t want to look up and check just yet.”

“Shroedinger’s relationship, then,” said Steve.

Tony chuckled and said, “More like Heisenberg’s. I know where the relationship is, but not where it’s going or how fast.”

“Ok. I can live with that,” said Steve.

Steve meant it when he said it. He really did. But 10 hours later, Tony was letting out an exasperated groan and pulling back from kissing him in bed.

“Is this what it’s like when you’re making out with me and I’m still thinking of a project?” said Tony.

“What do you--”

“You’ve been like this all day. Just… on the surface it’s like everything’s the same, but one of the tracks in your brain is still on the damn future talk, isn’t it?” said Tony.

Steve hesitated, then said, “Yeah, probably.”

“You said--”

“I know what I said, Tony. And I really wish I could let it go, because I see the logic in what you’re saying. But I can’t, Tony,” said Steve.

Tony gave Steve a discerning look. Then he took in a deep breath.

“I don’t want to have a kid that’s biologically related to me,” said Tony.

Steve started and said, “Tony, you don’t--”

“I know to the rest of you it looks like it’s fun to design quinjets while half-drunk with exhaustion, but sometimes it’s really painful, existing with a brain like this. I don’t want to risk passing that on to someone else, least of all my own kid. As for whether I want to have kids at all, the jury’s still out. If you’d asked me two years ago I’d’ve said not a chance in hell but sometimes I look at you and I think, maybe. Maybe with you.”

Steve felt his heart in his throat.

“I need you to understand, Steve, that I don’t know if that maybe will ever turn into a yes. I-- I’ve never exactly had great role models as far as fathers go, and I would rather cut out my own heart than be another link in a chain of shitty Stark dads.”

“You are _nothing like_ \--”

“I know, Steve. But that’s where I stand on the question of kids. What about you?” said Tony.

Steve gave a small smile and said, “Something similar, if you’ll believe it. I don’t really know if I want them or not. Honestly, I’m worried someone will find out about them and use them to get to me.”

“I can help with that,” said Tony, “There’s a reason nobody I haven’t wanted in here has ever gotten into Avenger’s tower.”

“I remember Loki having--”

“I’ve made a few upgrades since Loki. And you can bet your ass I’d make a lot more if the security was responsible for my kid.”

“But that’s another thing - I don’t want any kids of mine locked away in a cage their whole lives for their own protection. And biologically, I don’t want to risk the serum giving any potential children five heads, so…”

“So adoption, if ever. I can live with that,” said Tony.

“But that’s a big if. I don’t know if I’m ever going to get to ‘yes’ either. But sometimes I look at you and I think the same thing: maybe. Maybe with you.”

Tony kissed his hand and said, “Ok. That works for me.”

“It sounds like we’re on the same page, then.”

“Oh that’s just the start. We’ve got a lot more,” said Tony.

“Lay it on me. What’s next?” said Steve.

“Where we’re going to live,” said Tony.

“Something wrong with where we’re living now?” asked Steve.

Tony sighed and said, “Do you really want to be an Avenger for the rest of your life?”

Steve realized he’d never really thought about it that much.

“I don’t know, Steve. I know this works, right now. I love living with everyone here in the tower. I just… I can’t rule out that something’ll change one day. What if everyone else quits? What if the government tries to stop us from doing hero work? What if our ‘maybes’ turn into ‘yeses’ and it doesn’t work having a kid living here with the rest of the team, for us or for them? Or what if we just… want to do something else?”

Steve thought about it a bit, then said, “I think everything you’re talking about are things you can’t plan for. I think it’s ok to just say that if it turns out we want to move or we don’t want to be Avengers anymore, we can figure something else out.”

“What if you want to be an Avenger and I don’t?” said Tony quietly.

“Do you want to leave the team, Tony?” asked Steve.

“No, not right now. But-- I might. One day.”

“Then we can deal with that when it comes. And just so you know, it’s not a deal breaker to me if you’re an Avenger or not. I love Tony Stark. Iron Man’s just a bonus.”

“Ok. And it’s the same for me. I might have crushed on Captain America for half my life, but Steve Rogers is way hotter than that guy ever was.”

“I dunno, you seem pretty turned on when I put on the uniform,” said Steve with a grin.

“Like you don’t get all hot and bothered when I get into the suit,” said Tony with a matching grin.

“Point taken. What’s next?” said Steve.

“Faith. I’m never going to stop being an atheist. If you can’t live with that or if you decide it’s your life mission to show me the light, this relationship is over.”

“I’m ok with that,” said Steve.

“And I don’t want any potential kids of mine baptized or otherwise indoctrinated, not with Christianity or atheism or anything else. When they ask what happens when we die, the answer is, ‘This is what I think, but nobody really knows for sure. What do you think?’”

Steve clenched his jaw for a moment and then said, “I’m never going to stop being Christian, Tony.”

“And I’m fine with that. Really, I am. And if our hypothetical kids grow up and decide to join a church, more power to them. But they’re not getting it from us.”

“How can you ask me not to talk about such an important part of me to my children, Tony?” said Steve.

“I’m not asking you not to talk about it. When it comes up you say something like, ‘Daddy’s a Christian. That means I believe a man named Jesus is the son of God, and he died for my sins. He spoke about being kind and standing up for what’s right, and I try to follow what he taught. I believe when we die, if we’re good people, we go to heaven. But your Papa doesn’t believe that. In fact, most people don’t. And you’ve got to decide for yourself what you think is right.’”

Steve sighed and said, “I’m going to have to think about that one.”

“And that is why I didn’t want to have this conversation,” said Tony as he turned away from Steve.

Steve caught his shoulder.

“I didn’t say no, Tony,” said Steve firmly.

“Didn’t you?” said Tony.

“No, I really didn’t. I said I’d think about it. Because what you’re describing is really, really different from the way me and everyone else I knew was raised when I was growing up. I need to do some reading on what it’s like, raising children in mixed faith households and how other Christians do it. I need to research whether what you’re describing is good and healthy for a child, and honestly I need to pray about this. I don’t know enough about this to give you an answer yet. That’s not the same thing as ‘no.’”

Tony settled back on the bed and said, “Ok. That works. But only for now.”

“Only for now,” agreed Steve, “Anything else?”

“There’s a few we can skip over just because of the lives we live, so let’s get right to the big one at the end. What do you want to do with the rest of your life, Steve?”

“Does anybody really know the answer to that?” said Steve.

“Well, some people have guideposts they want to hit at least. Do you want to… run for president, write a New York Times bestseller, become a foster parent, start a business, be a movie star--”

“No none of that but-- but I want to help people. And I want to protect the weak from the powerful. For me I think that means I’m always going to have a dangerous job, Avenger or not. As long as it’s safer for me to be out there standing between the civilians and giant robots, I’m going to do it. Can you live with that?”

Tony’s eyes went soft and sad and he said, “On one condition.”

“What’s that?”

“You always need to try to come home."

Steve was about to say something affirming but Tony's tone was hard when he continued, "Let me explain what I mean, Steve. Someday you might have two choices. The first one is easy and saves the day, but it’ll mean… it’ll mean you don’t come home. The second one is hard, nearly impossible, risky, but it saves the day _and_ it means you’ll come back to me. I need you to promise you’ll always take the harder path. Take the risk. Because if you don’t, if you choose the sure thing and sacrifice yourself to save the day when there is any other option available to you, I will haunt you, Steve. I will find a way for the living to haunt the dead, and you will not rest in peace. Do you understand?”

Steve swallowed and said, “Yes.”

“Now promise.”

“I promise that if there is a way available to me, I will try to come home. Can you promise me the same?”

“Yes. Yes, I promise.”

“Ok. What about you? What do you want to do with the rest of your life?”

“I want to help people too, in one way or another. Right now being an Avenger is the way that works, but one day it might be something else. I also want to invent things, maybe change the world once or twice, with the things I make. Which’ll mean spending a lot of time in the lab. That work for you?”

“As long as you remember to eat and sleep,” said Steve.

“Ok, I know you’re half-joking, but I need you to understand that the things that drive you crazy right now? The 72 hour work benders and the forgetting to eat and the obscene amounts of coffee? That’s not going to change, Steve. I don’t want you to have it in your head that the only reason I do those things is because I don’t have a sufficiently hot boyfriend luring me to bed and coaxing me to eat something. It comes with the package, and it’s always going to be there. Is that ok?”

Steve put his hand against the side of Tony’s face and ran his thumb over his cheek.

“As long as you keep trying to take care of yourself.” Tony looked like he was about to object but Steve raised his hand and said, “I know you won’t exactly be following the food pyramid or a human circadian rhythm. I’m at peace with that. But if it starts to really detract from your health, if you stop doing anything to take care of yourself and pour everything into your work, if you start cutting years off your life expectancy and we’ve talked about it and negotiated and you won’t change, then this relationship isn’t going to last.”

“How are we quantifying--”

“We’re not quantifying, Tony. Right now, it’s not a problem. I think this is something we’re probably going to have to keep negotiating and revisiting as long as we love each other. But I’m in if you are.”

Tony was quiet for a moment and softly said, “Please don’t ever ask me to choose between you and my work.”

“I won’t. I will never ask you to stop inventing, Tony. I will never ask you to stop being Iron Man. Never. I just-- you know how we just promised each other we’ll always try to come home? I want you to always try to come home from the lab, Tony. I want you to _try_ to live to a ripe old age. I want you to _try_ to take care of yourself. I know you’re still going to forget to eat and sleep sometimes, a _lot_ of times, but I want you to try, so you can keep coming home to me. That’s what I’m asking. Can you promise me that, Tony?”

Tony thought for a moment and said, “Yes. Yes, I can try. But I don’t know how successful I’ll be.”

“I’ll be there to help you. That’s another thing you’re signing onto with me - I’m not going to stop trying to get you to eat and sleep.”

A small grin quirked the edge of Tony’s mouth and he said, “You wouldn’t be the Steve Rogers I know and love if you did.”

“Good,” said Steve, as he ran a hand up Tony’s arm, “Is that it?”

Tony’s smile grew broader as he said, “Yeah, that’s it.”

“Then apart from me needing to do a little more reading on raising kids in a mixed-religion household--”

“--and that’s only if we actually decide to have kids,” Tony interrupted.

“Right. Apart from that hypothetical… it sounds like we’re on the same page.”

“Sounds like,” said Tony.

“So we can keep dating for keeps,” said Steve.

“Yeah.”

Steve felt a weight leave his shoulders he didn’t realize he’d been carrying, and it manifested in a smile on his face.

“There he is. There’s Steve. I’ve missed you,” said Tony.

“I love you too,” said Steve.

They went back to making out for a while, but Steve broke away to ask something that was niggling at him.

“What are the ones you said we could skip?” asked Steve.

“Oh that? Don’t worry about it - normal couples also have to cover finances, how we manage our families, and sexual compatibility, but being a billionaire takes care of the first one, we don’t have the second, and the third is self-explanatory.”

“Self-explanatory?” said Steve.

Tony rolled his eyes and said, “You like sleeping with me?”

“Of course.”

“You like how often we have sex? Who tops, who bottoms?”

“Yeah.”

“Well then. Unless you’ve got any secret relationship-ending kinks that’ll consume you with sexual frustration if not fleshed out, we’re doing just fine.”

“Well, I don’t know about _relationship ending--_ ”

Tony gaped and said, “Steven Grant Rogers, do you have a kink? One I haven’t found and exploited? How is this possible? Why haven’t you said anything?”

“It’s not relationship-ending. If anything it’s more of a… special occasions kind of deal.”

“Don’t care. Tell me what it is right now or we are going on kinkipedia and trying every one of them alphabetically until I find it.”

Steve chuckled and put his hand up next to Tony’s face.

“Remember when we all went to Rocky Horror?” said Steve.

“Oh I am liking this already,” said Tony with a wicked grin.

Steve leaned in and whispered in Tony’s ear, “You look good in a corset.”

Tony shivered, and Steve started sucking a hickey into Tony’s neck.

“I am… about to spend… _so much money_ … on lingerie,” Tony panted.

“Shop later. Sex now,” said Steve between kisses.

“Look at that, same page again,” said Tony as he dug his fingers into the waistband of Steve’s pajamas.

Three weeks later, they were cuddling on the couch in Tony’s lab when Steve said, “Tony?”

“Mm?”

“I’ve thought about it. And I’ve read about it.”

“About what?”

“And I’ve prayed about it.”

Steve felt Tony tense under his arms.

“And?” said Tony apprehensively.

“Ok.”

Tony exhaled a bit through his nose and said, “Does that mean you’ll purse your lips disapprovingly every time I talk to our hypothetical kids about why I don’t believe in heaven? Because that’s just a recipe for resentment.”

“No, Tony. It means ok. If our maybes ever become yeses, I can raise our children the way you talked about. Without resentment. It may not be my first choice, but it’s worth it if it means any child of mine gets to have you as a father.”

“ _Steven_ ”

“I think we know the love of God in a lot of ways, Tony. One of them is in the love of the people around us. And you have so much love in your heart, Tony. I know that if we ever decide to have children, that you and me are going to make a home for them that is so completely full of love. In a way we already have. And if that’s not living with God, I don’t know what is.”

Tony was quiet for a while, and when he spoke again his voice was rough.

“Steve?”

“Yeah?”

“I think my maybe just got a little bit closer to a yes.”

Steve felt his heart swell and he said, “Mine too.”

“But not soon.”

“No. But maybe someday.”

“Yeah,” said Tony, pulling Steve’s arm around him a little more tightly, “Someday.”

**Author's Note:**

> If one person reading this internalizes the message, "before I get married, my partner/s and I should talk about children, careers, finances, family, sex, faith, living situations, and what we actually want to do with our lives" I will consider this fic a rousing success. Because it's amazing, how many people tie the knot without doing that first.
> 
> Also, if you liked this fic, you will probably like my other fic "Boundaries." That one's about owning your bodily autonomy.


End file.
